Most of us dont pursue things that we love for one simple reason “What will others think about me if I do this?”. How many of you have had this question in your mind and dint pursue something that you loved??. I am from a very conservative family where you are taught to go by the rules and always be watchful of what others think about you.
As a kid I loved to sing and dance. Eventually I gave up both just because I was worried about what others would think if I sang it wrong or didn’t dance well. Eventually this fear of what others will think about me started to show up in my personality. I started lacking self confidence and would be more worried and aware of what people think about me. I some how wanted to get out of this feeling .
Two years back, I slowly started to notice what my mind chattered about various things that happened in my life.
- When I was trying very hard to loose some weight after my pregnancy, I saw someone walking with a very nice slim structure. Immediately my mind voice woke up and started saying “I used to look like that few years back but now I can never get back to that”.
2 . Then I cooked something at home, while I was tasting it , it was not that good. My mind voice woke up and said “Today it is not the best , you could have made it better”.
3. Later when I saw some moms playing with their kids in a park near my work place my mind voice again woke up ” See you never take your kids to a park like this, may be they deserve better”.
4. When I spend money on somethign i like to buy my mind voice will be “You must have not wasted money on it, it is a waste”
It was not until I noticed all this I realized that it is “ME” who is always being judgmental on all the things I do. I suggest everyone to see if you all see this as well. I have tried to stop this internal chatting many times, but it has never been possible. Only good thing is that I am aware of it and have started to lean to ignore it. Once I do that I am able to think freely and not worry too much about people around me. The real truth is others dont have time to judge you in most cases. It is just our own feeling.Life is too short to be that hard on you 🙂
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